A big man with an even bigger heart

I was the last one waiting at that arrival gate at JFK. I was 18, had just arrived in the US for the first time in my life and he was late to pick me up. And by he I mean Gerald, a man I had only known through letters and old phones (no, kids, emails and cell phones had not been invented yet), a man who had decided to try and help me get a basketball scholarship over there just because…just because that was the man that he was (it’s a longer story, but the bottom line is that Gerald tried to help me even though he did not owe me anything…heck, he did not even know me till that day in July of ’96).

So, imagine me, this weird looking late adolescent, Eastern European guy, dressed almost business smart, standing alone like an orphan in the middle of JFK airport. And then I saw him, this big man almost running down the escalators, knowing he was late and I was all alone.

He saw me and not even a muscle moved on his face. I never saw the initial disappointment or disbelief that had to be going on through his mind and soul because…well, looks like I have to tell you at least some part of the longer story…

Sometime during 1995, Gerald met with my basketball coach, Liviu C. Liviu started telling Gerald about these 2 great players that he had: a tall guy, about 201cm (that’s about 6 foot 7) and a great point guard at about 180cm (that’s about 5 foot 9). Obviously, I was the shorter guy. And, obviously, when for some reason I was left alone in trying to get to the US, Gerald somehow kept believing that I was the taller one.

Now, coming back to that hot July day in ’96. Imagine you’ve done all you could and then some to help a tall, talented basketball kid get to the US in hopes of getting into a college through a scholarship. Imagine that finally you’ve managed to do that and he’s come over and you go to pick him up at the airport. Imagine you’re late and when you get there you just see this…midget. What would you do?

Well, let me tell you what Gerald did. He never even mentioned this that summer as he worked his ass off in trying to help me. The only reason I never got a basketball scholarship is that I wasn’t good enough. And even so, because of Gerald I got some really good opportunities.
He told me this story years later, in our email discussions and we both laughed our asses of. But for as long as I shall live I will never forget how this big American with an even bigger heart welcomed me into his family for a whole summer and made me feel at home when I was so far away from home.
And I will never forget how every 4th of January one of us would write the other saying Happy Birthday (we share the same birth day, 28 years apart) and from there we would start up a conversation about movies, American politics, Romanian politics, books and what not.

Gerald died suddenly on Friday, May 26th. He was 67. I hadn’t seem him in 18 years and I already miss him like a friend I’ve seen every day for my whole life, that’s why I can’t imagine what his loved ones are going through.

So this text which I hope his wife and all grown up kids by now get to somehow read is my way of saying goodbye to a man who made helping others a lifestyle. And who made laughter a lifestyle (that’s why I chose to share the story of Tall Little Alex with you). And who made the lives of those around him so much better because he was there.

Good bye, Big G.! Somehow, some jokes will feel less funny since I won’t be able to share them with you anymore. But I’m really thankful for all the ones that I did get to tell you or hear from you. And most of all, I’m really thankful and grateful for having met you. It was an honor and a joy.

Rest in peace, dear friend.